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| well, the class of 266 is graduating in two days. less than two days. i'm not ready. i've drifted apart from friends that i've been close to for years and have become better friends with so many other people. i hate how our senior activities started once finals were done. we shouldve had more time just to hang out in school. I've become associated with so many people in my school. even though i'm not close with all of these people, i'm still gonna miss them. i'm gonna miss how we joke in the hallway with our fake fights and my bullying and calling them whores and sluts or smacking their asses like i always do. and i'm sure people will miss my anger and vulgarity since i'm famous for it. and now, its going to end. i get attached so easily. so thats why this passed year or two i've been keeping my distance, because some of my good friends broke my heart or made me feel betrayed. like i meant nothing. but i let go for the last two weeks of school and now i feel like i'm going to cry. espcially after the CBN show. Nate used this song as the departing song in the end. it was well chosen.
a lot of people are going to temple with me and staying in or close to philly, but not enough. i hate this feeling. i dont want them to go. i dont want this to end. god this sucks, i hope we all have wild graduation parties where we get drunk and dance our asses off and take lots of pictures. i'm gonna miss you 266, from Central High School.
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| i'm gonna miss everyone so much.
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| So the school year is coming to an end and with that comes graduation. its really sad that I will no longer be going to school with these people anymore. I'm gonna really miss everyone and everything. All of the things that distinguish high school from college. I'm not really sure if college has all of those showcases and plays and TV shows that we've had at Central. Even after four years at Central I still have yet to meet everyone. Every year I've had class with people that I've never seen in my life. Lol, its good to meet new people but it sucks to not have class with the people you got to know the year before. Then again, I've never had class with a lot of my friends. The friends that I've had class with usully dont stay for long. That leads me to my excitement for college, which is the lack of friends. I've had a lot friends as a child but since I was never really alllowed to hangout with people outside of school, those didnt last. So of course, things would be different in high school. But its not that different. I'm not friends with people that I grew so close to. People that were really important to me. Now, it seems like I've drifted away to my closest friends and its really sad. its really changed me in a way I dont like. I hate how now that I feel like I've been betrayed by my close friends, I cant really get close to anyone anymore. I cant open up to anyone new. I'm never happy and I'm ridiculously negative all the time. I hate whats its done to me and graduating not liking the person I am, not feeling like I belong anywhere, and not having friends that I feel really care about me or that I feel I can depend on. I've lost close friends to their boyfriends and to their boyfriend's friends and since we've all been too busy for each other, I've lost them to new friends they've made throughout the year. I'm so glad I've joined Centralizer. I feel more at home there and things are so much more relaxed and its a lot of fun.Even so, I don't really feel any close bonds. I cant wait to start all over next year. Maybe I'll open up a little more and hopefully, make some good friends.
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| so my spring break has been pretty great. didnt go out sunday but I went to Giwa with Dorothy, Lee and Kiu on Monday and finally satisfied my craving for bibam bap. then shopped. had a picnic with Kiu at Rittenhouse Sq Tuesday and shopped some more. we missed the BBQ that day since Kiu couldnt go and I woke up late. Wednesday I had my own BBQ. tho only 3 out of 9 ppl could show up it was SO FUN. love you guys. we played pool, ate a great feast and just chilled. it was awesome. I actually stayed home on Thursday, not realizing how lonely it is since my parents went to Australia, my sister moved to mississippi and my brother has been out studying for exams all week. Kiu and Lee went to NY without me since my mom said she'd worry about me too much. I saw 300 yesterday finally with Lee G. he ate the BBQ leftovers with his hands in a coffee shop lol. 300 was a well made movie but it was not ALL THAT that everyone makes it to be. The Departed has a better storyline, best twists, and also a well made movie. went home after that, cooked dinner, and took a nap, I woke up at midnight at yelled at Chau to get out of my house and went back to sleep at 4. today, I had lunch with my siblings and nieces and then went grocery shopping. was gonna have Adrian, Dave, Caitlin, and Kiu over but it couldnt happen. so I went over Caitlin's house instead. we made apple pie and chocolate mousse for her Easter dinner tomorrow/tonight. Gabriel picked us up at 11 and we went to the Phillies parking lot and he taught me how to drive!!!!! ahhhh it was my first experience and SO exhilerating! just got home an hour ago. it was so cool. but Spring Break is over and I'll be doing homework, laundry, cleaning, watering the plants, cooking dinner, and bumming around tomorrow. I'm sick of cooking, I've been doing it all week with no help from my brother since he's hardly home. I cant imagine having to do it every night this week with school and play rehearsal. oh well. it wasnt the wildest break but it was well spent. thanks guys.
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| had a small barbeque yesterday. it was really fun. cant wait til lee gives us pictures! but my shoulders still hurt like hell from lee's crappy massage. but dorothy's massage was very arousing since it was on my ass and inner thighs. and the one i gave myself to make my boobs bigger wasnt too bad either. i wish dorothy demonstrated it on me so that they could grow bigger.  thanks for coming guys! i love you!
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